What I Crave
I got such a buzz from working on In Seed this time last year.
It was just about a year ago now that I started working on it. We set such a breakneck pace. A track a week. I had much of the poetry that I wanted to work with, because that's a constant thing. I'm always adding little clips and phrases to my book.
The beats though I would often hear for the first time the week of.
Then it would just be a process of inspiration and creation. It was great. Just doing the work and getting to hear and share the results.
The day after the album was done, I remember feeling this sensation of hollowness.
I just wanted to be back at it, to be caught up, swept up in the building of an auditory world.
So much so that I considered starting the next album the very next day.
I held off though. There was more to do. More mountains to climb. The music is done, now it's time to let the world know; time to perform; time to make it accessible for people to listen to. Each of these things have their own unwritten rules that need to be learned, skills that need to be developed.
I'm feeling comfortable performing in front of people now.
At first I had to use some mental kung-fu to keep myself from thinking about the fact that I was about to stand in front of a crowd of people and sing. I don't have to do that now. Now when it's time for me to perform, all I feel is excitement.
My priorities have shifted lately.
I've started a degree, so I don't have the free time to work on my music that I did last year. That doesn't mean that it's not going to happen, but it has altered the pace.
Last year it was frenetic.
I devoted so much of myself to the album. If I wasn't working, that was what I was doing. I don't have that liberty now. I like it though.
It's letting me take my time with each song.
To let it mellow and simmer and develop over time. Last year was good, but this is good too.
I've also got another project going on.
Some friends and I have put a band together. We're calling ourselves The Only. The momentum for that has actually started to pick up faster than my next solo track, so you'll likely see something from us sometime next month. I'm having a lot of fun playing with these guys and I can't wait to show you what we've been working on.
So far with getting In Seed out there, I've learned a lot of what works and what doesn't work.
My brother said that an old man is a repository of failed ideas. At Shopify they say failure is the successful acquisition of new knowledge.
So I guess attitude is pretty important.
A little while ago my mum came up to me and said, "Someone told me that if you are chasing what you really want, then even if you don't get it, it will be worthwhile, because the whole time you will have been going after your dream."
"Who said that?" I asked.
"You did." She said.